God knows that trick

 
when the grocery store is collecting pop tarts 
for the homeless shelter,
don't say,
"I wish I was poor."
Just buy yourself some pop tarts some time
and try to keep a job.
 
At church, don't make fun of that lady with the head tremor
by pretending you have a head tremor.
Just nod a little bit when the preacher says something about Jesus.
 
I mean, my Gosh, 
 
not everyone can work in a Tic Tac factory
and watch movies about rodents on their lunch break.
If you want gallbladder surgery,
then damage your gallbladder.
It all adds up if you multiply by eleven.